Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
