I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
