We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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