I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
