someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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