All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
