dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
