The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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