Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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