11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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