I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
