you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
