Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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