Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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