It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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