Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
