Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
