just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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