I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
