Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
