he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize