drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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