Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
