Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
