And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
