My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Randomize
