Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
