only if we run a train.
done.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
