no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
