As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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