I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
