okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
