And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
