I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
