You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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