There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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