the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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