It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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