Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
