when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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