we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize