my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
