he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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