"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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