I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
