On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
This is the high leading the old right now
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
