i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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