theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
