We're like a lot better than the average bears
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
