Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
