u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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